TO THE PARENTS OF LGBTQ+ KIDS.

CW/TW: Religious trauma, LGBTQ family rejection.

This morning I watched a video of Pat Robertson giving advice to a mom about her gay daughter [below]. I was tempted to scroll past it because I knew it would more than likely get on my nerves. When I get bothered I am unable to keep it inside because I know there might be a parent out there hearing his advice and thinking it is the only option. That is not the case.  I was introduced to the 700 Club when my parents started watching it when I was little. I was/am the daughter with the “gay lifestyle” so I have experienced this advice first hand. I have spent the last few years doing my best to speak out for kids who are unable to. My goal is to promote one thing: LOVE. Genuine love for one another, not the “I love you BUT” kind of love that so many of us received. That is not love.

Let me tell you that this is one of the quickest ways to forfeit any possibility of a healthy relationship with your kid in the present, or in the future. This is a note for the parents who tell your gay kid that they are going to burn in hell. It’s for parents who disown them, who make them feel small because they are different. My advice is, please, remember not to make it about yourself. Try to realize it took your kid a whole lot to get to the point of coming out to you and that is brave no matter what age.

Please see that they wanted to include you in their life. I understand it can take time after the initial coming out but once you’ve had time to process; don’t just say the words “I love you but…” then drop it and hope for the best. Honestly, that does not feel like love, at all. What it looks like is doing something you’re told to do, avoiding crucial conversations, pretending like things are fine, and continually missing opportunities to connect with and learn about someone important to you… YOUR CHILD.

Their life is passing you by, and will continue going on without you as they grow up. Do not remain comfortable and trapped in fear. Please don’t wait until it is too late and they are gone. Don’t worry about what others in your church think. All your kid might have wanted was to be able to get to know you and you them.

DO NOT LOSE THEM. 

We are all human. We all deserve to be ourselves and to be proud of who we are. Please be one of those parents who genuinely wants to know about our lives, our hearts and our passions. That is what matters. To read a little more on the topic and to read similar stories go check out my article “Loving A Gay Christian“. xo Steph