HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY

Good morning and happy National Coming Out Day!

I FINALLY came out when I was 24. Growing up I was shy, awkward, anxious and so far in the closet I didn’t even know I was in a closet (serious Narnia vibes). I was also raised in a very strict religious environment. Things started to change when I picked up and moved away in 2010.  I forced myself into the unknown so I could figure things out. I had no idea who I was or how to think for myself. I just wanted so desperately to blend in and be “normal”. To be loved and accepted. To be effortlessly happy. Around that time I found a camera. It took time and a lot of investing in myself over the years but through photography, I learned how to be myself. I love looking back to see the progress I have made…not only as a photographer but as a person. 

I had zero confidence when I first started. I never went to school for photography. I was terrified when I booked my first LGBTQ+ client. I was nervous about what others would say (mostly in the religious  community) when I posted the images on my blog and worried that I would then have to explain the fact that I was gay. I knew they would judge me for supporting these wonderful couples and sure enough I got some pretty hateful messages which I took to heart. At that point it was bigger than my photography; these people didn’t know that when they were throwing out those hurtful, hateful words they were also talking about ME. At the time I was ashamed because I didn’t know how to be true to myself. I constantly compared my work to other artists and would hear things that certain successful photographers would say about my work and beat myself up about it. But, I pressed on! I took those hateful messages and used them to fuel my energy into doing something positive. I’m sure glad I did. I learn something new every day. I have figured out how to take what I am passionate about, what is close to my heart and run with it. This involves a lot of vulnerability from myself and from my clients (whether wedding or corporate.) That is truly when my career started taking off. When I wasn’t afraid to be me and when I asked people to be themselves with me. I am an out and proud LGBTQ wedding photographer telling the stories of my clients but also telling my own story. I am now photographing the very thing that scared me & what I hid from when I first started.

Since then I have had LGBTQ+ wedding images go viral. My images have visited places I might never get to see.  I have been honored on the floor of the California Senate for my work with our community. This year I was asked to share my story and speak on the importance of LGBTQ+ representation to wedding vendors and with brands like Fossil, Google, and Ernst & Young. Friends, this would have never happened if I would’ve stayed tucked away in that closet. If you’re in a place to come out and live freely, we will be waiting for you with a big old hug. If not, take your time. This is your story and your process. You only have this one life... do what feels right FOR YOU. First priority: figure out YOU. Don’t waste one more day living for someone else. Find out what makes your heart happiest and what you stand for. Don’t feel guilty for cutting out negative energy and people who are holding you back from loving yourself. Be good to yourself. You deserve to have the fullest life. Thanks for being here with me. Xo - Steph