SEARCHING FOR PEACE

Greetings, friends.

I’ve been absent from social media, which in turn has allowed me some much needed time to be present with myself. As you can see on my IG feed, I kept trying to come back and found it not sitting right with me. Being away gave me time to ponder on many a things in my life. One being my relationship with technology, sosh and my connections to all of you on here and in person. I am in the throes of revisiting what that looks like for me.

I have heavily defined myself by my work and by what I’ve built over the past 10+ years. When a good amount of that was shaken early 2020, it forced me to sit still and take inventory of what I want my experience to be and where I want to invest my time & energy. All we have is right now. Everything else is uncertain & fleeting. Scrambling to plan for the future and overthinking about the past quite often stripped me from being in the here and now. For me, it all came down to wanting some peace.

I spent almost 40 years not being familiar with what peace felt like. The idea of it sounded so dreamy but unreachable. Anyone else? My life has been an endless search for peace. I was instructed to find peace in the lord & that I would be rewarded in my quest for saving others. That became a lifelong anxious distraction from sitting still and saving myself. I experienced small moments of what I thought peace SHOULD feel like but that quickly passed while I needed to document the moment. Post about it. Share it with others. I’ve always wanted people to feel included but I’ve realized that some things are just meant for me. Over the past couple of years I have found that peace within myself and plan to protect it at all costs. I have learned a whole damn lot about myself from the faceplants, lack of boundaries, and reevaluating what it truly means to love others through loving myself.

Now I have a question for you: When did you first feel peace and what did that look like for you?

XO STEPH